Table of Contents
Every year on Mother’s Day, women are praised for their selflessness and love — for holding families together, raising children, managing homes, and even working full-time jobs. But behind this admiration is a deeply troubling silence: no one stops to ask mothers how they truly feel. In Pakistan, where societal expectations position women as unbreakable caregivers, their emotional needs are routinely ignored.
For many women, especially mothers, the societal perception of being endlessly resilient means their emotional struggles go unnoticed, unaddressed, and often misunderstood. They are not just caregivers — they are human beings who can feel overwhelmed, exhausted, depressed, or anxious.
Mental Health Crisis Among Women in Pakistan
Pakistan is facing a mental health crisis, with an estimated 50 million people affected — and women bear a disproportionate burden. According to a United Nations report, 90% of Pakistani women experience mental or verbal abuse, while 50% face physical violence, often at the hands of their partners.
These numbers point to a chilling reality: mental health struggles among women are not isolated incidents. They are systemic, widespread, and deeply linked to societal, cultural, and domestic dynamics.
“Pregnancy is already a time of change emotionally, physically, hormonally. When women don’t receive support, that pressure multiplies,” says Dr Sadia Rehman, Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist.
The Hidden Toll of Pregnancy and Motherhood
Research shows that in rural Pakistan, over 26% of pregnant women experience depression — with even higher rates in certain regions. These women often suffer in silence, without any emotional or psychological support from their families or communities.
Dr Rehman highlights the internal emotional conflict many mothers face: confusion, guilt, and the constant feeling of not being good enough.
“Many new mothers don’t know what’s happening to them. They’re confused, anxious, and guilty. Some feel they’re not ‘good mothers,’ and that guilt eats away at them.”
Mental Health of Mothers and Its Impact on Children
According to Dr Saad Malik, a psychiatrist who works with perinatal and postpartum cases, maternal mental health doesn’t just affect the mother — it can shape the emotional development of her child.
“If a mother is depressed, disconnected, or anxious, the child doesn’t receive the warmth and responsiveness required for secure emotional bonding. That sets the tone for how the child builds trust, regulates emotions, and forms relationships later in life.”
Maternal depression during pregnancy is also linked to premature births, low birth weight, and long-term cognitive and emotional development issues in children.
When the Wound Is Silent but Deep
Dr Malik shares that many children with behavioural or emotional challenges often come from households where the mother struggled with untreated mental health issues.
“I see children with anxiety, sleep disturbances, and aggression. In most cases, the emotional environment at home during their early years was unstable. Sometimes the mother had postpartum depression. Sometimes she was emotionally neglected — and that neglect got passed down silently.”
Different Faces of the Same Pain
Mental health struggles among mothers in Pakistan appear across all socioeconomic backgrounds — but the expressions differ.
- In low-income families, the issues stem from exhaustion, unplanned pregnancies, poor nutrition, and zero access to mental health support.
- In wealthier households, the pressure is rooted in perfectionism — to maintain appearances, raise “high-achieving” children, and never show weakness.
In both cases, emotional suppression becomes the norm. As Dr Malik explains, this disconnect between internal emotions and external expectations causes lasting psychological harm.
Going to Bed After Midnight? Doctor Warns of Serious Health Risks
Gender Bias: The Silent Trigger
One of the more disturbing emotional pressures mothers face is gender preference. A woman with multiple daughters is often shamed or pressured to produce a son.
“That baby is born into an emotional rejection,” says Dr Malik. “It affects how the mother feels about the child, even if she tries to hide it.”
This subtle but pervasive emotional trauma can deeply impact both the mother’s sense of self-worth and the child’s emotional development.
Invisible Mothers, Forgotten Needs
Dr Rehman points out that many mothers with postpartum depression lose their sense of identity.
“They stop seeing themselves as individuals. Life becomes about survival. Feed the baby, clean the house, repeat. There is no time to ask, ‘Am I okay?’ That emotional burnout becomes their new normal.”
The result? Children raised in emotionally disconnected environments who exhibit tantrums, hyperactivity, delayed speech, and poor emotional regulation.
The Missing System of Support
In urban clinics in Pakistan, it’s estimated that 80% of housewives are diagnosed with stress-related disorders. Over 65% of therapy seekers are women, most of whom are married and report severe family conflict.
Yet, even in educated families, the stigma around mental health persists.
“If a mother admits she’s struggling, she’s often told to pray more or stop being dramatic,” says Dr Rehman. “No one tells her she deserves help.”
Building a Culture of Care
Both Dr Rehman and Dr Malik agree: the first step toward change is conversation.
“Let mothers speak without judgment. Let them cry without being called dramatic,” urges Dr Rehman.
They advocate for regular mental health screenings during prenatal and postnatal visits — just like blood pressure or haemoglobin levels. If a red flag appears, medical professionals should refer the mother for psychological support.
They also stress the importance of community and digital support. Social media platforms and public campaigns can normalize these conversations and show mothers that they’re not alone.
A Call to Listen, Not Just Celebrate
As we celebrate mothers for their sacrifices and unconditional love, we must also give them the space to say, “I’m not okay.”
Because when we truly listen to mothers, offer them help without judgment, and prioritize their emotional well-being, we’re not just supporting one woman — we’re nurturing the emotional future of her children, her family, and society.
As Dr Malik puts it:
“When we ignore a mother’s mental health, we don’t just risk losing her — we risk the emotional future of her child. And that’s a cost too high for any society to bear.”
